I returned yesterday from a visit to my parents. Sadly my father was diagnosed with vascular dementia last year and seems to be slipping away each time I visit. A bad fall in May which resulted in a broken hip has hindered his mobility and he seems to have gone downhill since. Whilst I was with them he was unwell and was admitted into an intermediate care centre. I am not sure how long he will be there and indeed wonder if he will be well enough to return home again.
Dad has always taken much pleasure from their garden. He sees this rose from his armchair near the window in the living room. He thinks that it is the best rose he ever planted. Although Dad struggles so much now with his short term memory he told me quite clearly on Saturday, that this rose needs pruning after it flowers earlier in the year, so that it will have a second flush later on. I wondered whether whether it is because that he is so fond of this rose that he could remember those facts. The intricacies of how the brain works are an amazing phenomenon which never cease to amaze.
Hi Anna, it's sad to hear about your Dad, I'm sorry.
ReplyDeleteIt is indeed a beautiful rose and has brought so much pleasure.
Dear Anna, I am so very sorry to read this very sad news of your father's illness. It is so distressing seeing someone gradually become quite different from the person one has known for so long and so well.
ReplyDeleteAs you say, remembering the pruning requirements of the rose is quite extraordinary and leaves one even more perplexed about the ways of the mind. The rose, however, does inded look splendid and so very prolific. It must have had a lot of tender loving care in its time.
Take care of yourself since these times can be very draining.
Hello Anna, what a beautiful rose and what a sad time for you and the family. My mother had dementia for the last couple of years of her life and it really is terrible to see the person change and as you say slip away from you.
ReplyDeleteYou still have him though so make the most of being with him as much as possible. I truly know what you are going through.
M x
Anna, I'm so sorry to hear about your father -- but he is certainly right about this being a beautiful rose! Would he be cheered by having some cut roses in his room, or is it the whole rose bush that attracts him? (During the first summer of my mother's illness, I regularly brought flowers cut from her own garden for her room at the nursing home.) -Jean
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about this, Anna. Almost unbearable. I know little about dementia but, from what I have heard, it's hit and miss. Memories churn up and vanish, then reappear randomly - or not at all. I'm glad you are having these tantalising hints of what was and that you will have strength during the what is to come.
ReplyDeleteEsther
I'm so sorry to hear about your dad, Anna. It's so cruel how dementia takes those we love away from us even though they're still actually there. I can see why this is a favourite rose bush of your dad's, it's beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. That is a beautiful rose, and I can see why he loves it so. Try to find little things that are good in the situation to keep you focusing on good things - I think him loving and remembering about that rose is one of them.
ReplyDeleteSu
How very sad to have to watch someone you love slip away from you in bits and pieces. I hope he recovers enough to go home and enjoy the garden some more. I'm guessing that lovely rose will be very special to you now.
ReplyDeleteCherish these days Anna when you dear father can remember things like this. Bringing him roses when you visit might even evoke those memories of his garden and those lovely roses while he is in residency.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiflul rose and what touching words below it. It's hard to see once parents slipping away. I'm so sorry for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteTake care
Alex
Dear Anna, You described your Dad so lovingly - so sorry to hear about his illness. White roses have always been my favorite - there is nothing more pure and innocently beautiful than a white rose like the one you photographed so well. Do take care of yourself Anna.
ReplyDeleteDear Anna, I'm so sorry to hear of your Dad's illness - it's sad to see one's parents slipping away from you, as I did with my dear father a few years ago. I hope your father will be well enough to return home and enjoy again his beloved rose. It is indeed very beautiful.
ReplyDeleteTake care.
Jeanne
xx
What a beautiful rose that is and how special it must have been to your father to still have a place in his failing memory. I'm sure it will be special to you, too. I wish you all the best in dealing with the situation.
ReplyDeleteHi Anna~~ I agree. The brain is such a fascinating piece of machinery. I love how your father remembers the roses. God bless your time together!
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